A visit from Evander
A visit from Evander
Just as I was sitting down on a bench outside the van to sample some of my feast while it was still warm, a very intimidating black guy who resembled, and was built like, Evander Holyfield boldly rode his bike up to my bench and plopped himself down. Instinctively, I quickly packed away my camera and pretended to be ‘just leaving’. It turns out the guy was piss drunk. He started mumbling and slurring to me as if I was an old friend, telling me about how he almost just killed a guy in the park.
Although the subject matter was disconcerting to say the least, I no longer felt threatened due to his syrupy drunk tone, so I simply listened. He told me the guy in the park wanted to f*@& his lady and he would have shot him if he hadn’t already done 10 years ‘on the chain gang’ down in Florida. He was a specimen of a man- told me he was 48 years old. Could hardly believe it.
After a while, I gave him some chicken and we talked for about an hour. He was telling me about how he gets marginalized by the business community in Athens, and even offered a demonstration, walking into a nearby restaurant to use the bathroom. When they allowed him to use it, he said that was because they saw him outside talking and laughing with a white dude, and also because there were no customers in the restaurant to keep things ‘clean and safe’ for. I can’t say I didn’t mostly believe him. Evander was talking lots of sense with his slurs.
Near the end of the conversation, he said how much he appreciated our communication. (I probably said a combined 20 words, mostly ‘mhm’, ‘you said it brotha’, and ‘sho ya right’). This guy had lived with some hardship. Two of his many philosophical gems from all this living: “Nobody owes me nothin- Lots of people talk about oppression and white man this and that, but I just deal with my situation. Nobody owes me nothin” and “there’s all different types of people, all colors and religions and beliefs, but you know what we all have in common?” me:what? “We all people. We all human beings”. He knew this so deeply that I felt it.
Then he tried to get me to give him money and I made my exit, not showing him my van. See, we could connect as humans, but we still had our roles to play- the ones where I try to avoid being mugged and he tries to street-wise sweet talk me into a donation for his next bottle of respite.
Looking back, we healed each other. He showed me his world. I listened. He ate and safely sobered up. I got to spread some of my wealth of chicken. I learned a lot. We smiled, laughed, and after it all, when I tried to give him a handshake he said “we can do better than that” and gave me a great big Evander hug.
What I need is so rarely what I want. This experience opened my aperture to the light of situations. Situations.
Just as I was sitting down on a bench outside the van to sample some of my feast while it was still warm, a very intimidating black guy who resembled, and was built like, Evander Holyfield boldly rode his bike up to my bench and plopped himself down. Instinctively, I quickly packed away my camera and pretended to be ‘just leaving’. It turns out the guy was piss drunk. He started mumbling and slurring to me as if I was an old friend, telling me about how he almost just killed a guy in the park.
Although the subject matter was disconcerting to say the least, I no longer felt threatened due to his syrupy drunk tone, so I simply listened. He told me the guy in the park wanted to f*@& his lady and he would have shot him if he hadn’t already done 10 years ‘on the chain gang’ down in Florida. He was a specimen of a man- told me he was 48 years old. Could hardly believe it.
After a while, I gave him some chicken and we talked for about an hour. He was telling me about how he gets marginalized by the business community in Athens, and even offered a demonstration, walking into a nearby restaurant to use the bathroom. When they allowed him to use it, he said that was because they saw him outside talking and laughing with a white dude, and also because there were no customers in the restaurant to keep things ‘clean and safe’ for. I can’t say I didn’t mostly believe him. Evander was talking lots of sense with his slurs.
Near the end of the conversation, he said how much he appreciated our communication. (I probably said a combined 20 words, mostly ‘mhm’, ‘you said it brotha’, and ‘sho ya right’). This guy had lived with some hardship. Two of his many philosophical gems from all this living: “Nobody owes me nothin- Lots of people talk about oppression and white man this and that, but I just deal with my situation. Nobody owes me nothin” and “there’s all different types of people, all colors and religions and beliefs, but you know what we all have in common?” me:what? “We all people. We all human beings”. He knew this so deeply that I felt it.
Then he tried to get me to give him money and I made my exit, not showing him my van. See, we could connect as humans, but we still had our roles to play- the ones where I try to avoid being mugged and he tries to street-wise sweet talk me into a donation for his next bottle of respite.
Looking back, we healed each other. He showed me his world. I listened. He ate and safely sobered up. I got to spread some of my wealth of chicken. I learned a lot. We smiled, laughed, and after it all, when I tried to give him a handshake he said “we can do better than that” and gave me a great big Evander hug.
What I need is so rarely what I want. This experience opened my aperture to the light of situations. Situations.
posted by Greg at 10:34 AM
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